Trust no one. On the other hand… read everything.

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to confound advertisers and Facebook friends the world over. But only in the parts of the world where there’s wifi.

In an effort to pursue this mission, and confuse anyone trying to sell me anything, I am practicing three levels of internet deception:

1) On Twitter, I try to follow people from different spots on the political spectrum (such as it is) and other whatever other spectrum you can think of.  For example, I follow the following: Sarah Palin, Barack Obama, Batman, Justin Bieber, Superchicks, Dixie Chicks, Sheriff Tom Dart, the Art Institute of Chicago, Nathan Fillion, Bad Machinery, and Kiss.  (I’ve mentioned this before, but I bring it up again to because it’s relevant to this decepticon list.)  This range may give you a picture of the kind of stuff I like (ironic dissonance being pretty high on the list, followed quickly by web comics and funny music), but hopefully it also gives you a pause and throws you off my trail.  Muhahahaha.

2) In the land of the Internet, I try to follow blogs with unique or even contrasting views.  For example, I follow a Canadian pro-monarchy blog and a Canadian that is less than enamored with royal visititis (sic) blog.  Likewise, although I enjoy reading xkcd from time to time, and we do now own a ball pit, I also crack up at a blog devoted to detailing why xkcd sucks.  I have purchased items from etsy while enjoying the scathing commentary at regretsy.  I think you get the idea – there are at least two contrasting sides to every story, and the internet can be endlessly amusing.  And terrifying.  More on that never.

3) The viewing history cache affiliated with my IP address is filled with links to a range of publications, including the National Post, Jehovah’s Witness flyers, Reddit, Al Jazeer, NPR, Fox News, the New York Times, the Globe & Mail, Le Devoir, the Chicago Tribune, the Chicago Sun Times, the Honolulu Advertiser, and the Twillingate Sun.

In the real world, I occasionally drive a Prius with a “Global Warming is a Myth” and “My Other Car is a Gun” bumper stickers, just to keep people guessing and get them to QUIT TAILING ME.

An unhappy side effect of things like wearing a t-shirt featuring an image of George W. Bush with the caption “Do y’all miss me yet?” is that sometimes I attract similarly attired non-hipsters with a very limited understanding of irony, and sometimes my Facebook status starts bemusing Internet fights.

A happy side effect of such variety is that I know a little bit more about the different perspectives that one can have on a range of issues.

Plus, Facebook really is confounded – they’ve recently suggested Sesame Street, trips to Hawai’i, and lawn care products to some one with no kids, limited disposable income, and no yard.

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2 Responses to Trust no one. On the other hand… read everything.

  1. Von Allan says:

    All this makes reminds me to tell you that I’m trying Facebook again. Spooky, huh? I tried tracking you down but I couldn’t find you. At any rate, here I be:

  2. AYuen says:

    I’m impressed! On the other hand, slightly worried…have you been followed at some point??

    Also, that Regretsy site is pretty funny. Especially the gallery.

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