Recently, I found myself seated outside of a mall in Florida. (I find every store, coffee shop, book store, and indoor setting in Florida to be freezing, with the A/C set to 0 Kelvin and the doors wide open to entice passerby to their untimely death by pneumonia. And I, foolishly, only brought one sweater to Florida in the summer. What was I thinking?!)
There I was, I was sitting on a bench in the pleasant fresh air of the great Florida outdoors, with my feet up to avoid any stray 6-foot beetles or alligators (I have a healthy fear of nature), when I overheard the following non-ironic comment uttered into a passerby’s cellphone: “Anyway, I am walking in to my very, very important bikini waxing appointment.”
As she was saying this, I was reading the following sentence in a book: “How are we to understand the mnemitechnics of the route as an idiographic succession of the topoi?”
To add further dissonance to the entire experience, a cover of “Big Yellow Taxi” (wherein she decries the way we “pave paradise [and] put up a parking lot”) came on the mall speaker system (arranged like Disney’s, so you are always an optimal distance from the music).
Let’s recap: I was sitting in a mall parking lot (paved Everglades), reading about idiographic succession, overhearing a waxer relay its importance, and listening to a cover of Joni Mitchell’s lament against consumerism.
That, my friends, is Florida in a nutshell.