From the Files…

We’re taking a momentary break from your regularly scheduled program to bring you some textertainment (mainly mine, so I can reread these in one place without having to scroll back through my archaic phone). I present to you some amazing text messages that I’ve gotten. They really tell a story:

“I saw a Menard’s billboard that really spoke to me: ‘Bloom where you are planted.'”

“It is so cold the buttons you press to cross the street are broken.”

“What does the fox say is playing on the radio. The real radio!”

“Happy Thanksgivukah! Save a turkey, eat a latke.”

“Time sensitive question: can mom juggle?”

“Canola oil was invented by Canadians!”

“Pity party.

Pity party.

Pity party.

A pity party includes dancing around saying the above chant.”


“The head of our department showed up to teach our 50 minute class 15 minutes late cause the chickens got out in the garden.”

“Mom said that’s not good is it? I don’t know is it good or bad?”

“For staff superlatives I got ‘most likely to spend a night in jail.'”

“My friend’s advice for the GRE: THINK HARD. BE SMART. MAKE THE RIGHT DECISIONS. Also applies to drugs.”

“Dad said stop fighting.”

“I want Cracker Barrel!!!!!!”

“Guess who got a STICKER that says ‘way to go!’ on her advanced chemistry test?”

“Working the desk and a guy just said ‘You’re thinkin’ too hard, you’re gonna hurt yourself.'”

“I didn’t know if he was having a heart attack and those were his last words.”

“Crooks are many, cops are few; crooks carry guns, so why don’t you.”

The best part is that these could have been from almost anyone, but they all came from one person. :-)

Happy Graduation, Little Screamy!

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2 Responses to From the Files…

  1. Timmy Roy says:

    I’m scoopin’ what your poopin’.
    I hear you barkin’ big dog.

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